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I know the value of nature, it heals, it grounds, it reconnects. But man oh man, nature is LOUD in this part of the world!!! Not a moments peace between the nightly rave of crickets, the Wall Street stock trading of crows during the day and the shouting of preachers and laments of mosques! The countries in this region are unquestionably extroverted!

Even so, and despite overlanding tiramisu (caked layers of sunscreen, sweat, dirt, bug spray, more sweat, more sunscreen, more dirt, more bug spray, I’m still in awe.

Awe (n.)
Moment of grace, synchrodestiny, enchantment, oneness, and pure ease.

Awe and enchantment still fuel and inspire my vision for a liberated world where every girl, every woman is safe to exist and self-express. Not because patriarchy or even partnership have made the external world safe for her. But because she has done the work (for herself, her sisters, her daughters) to feel safe on inside. Then, the world itself changes and exists as a safe and creative place for her to launch her programs, give her talk, create her masterclass, without fear of witch burning or castration. 

Awe Story no. 5 • The SCARCITY PEBBLES

I was once sat at the Kuala Lumpur airport, eating a teriyaki chicken rice bowl. I was pausing my 16-countries in 16-weeks Exquisite Freedom Tour to return home for my baba’s funeral.

Out of nowhere, I hear chk chk chk sounds. Louder and louder, faster and faster. It was the sound of pebbles being poured out of fish tanks. I looked around, no one else seemed to be experiencing this. My eyeballs didn’t see anything, but I felt/saw hundreds of tiny black pebbles lifting off my shoulders, then off my under arms, then off my rib cage. 

Being a generally calm person, I didn’t freak out. I let it take place. Then when the sound subsided I asked, “What was that?!?” Instantly, almost even before I finished the sentence, I knew! They were pieces of scarcity that had dislodged and lifting away from me… from my entire lineage.

These were eons and eons of intergenerational trauma and scarcity, passed through nature and nurture, lifting away! I sat there in awe. My tears flowed into my rice bowl, so proud that it all ends here with me. No more trauma. No more scarcity. It ends here. With me. 

If scarcity still chock holds you, how can you surrender to a possibility far grander and far freer than your mind can imagine. How will you gift yourself free time and trust that you'll make double your current six-figures if scarcity says: there is NEVER enough time AND you believe it?
 
NO. WAY. Baba’s passing away PLUS 7 years of self-development had done their magic. Who knew chicken katsu don could lead to scarcity eradication. I mean, what were the chances?!? #awe

 

Awe Story no. 6 • The VOLCANO TOP

I arrived in San Salvador Dec 24 and hopped to hike the Cerro Verde volcano to see the teal lagoon inside the crater. Miraculously, my AirBnB host arranged a ranger to escort me and a French family up the volcano on Christmas day, when the National Park was closed.

I was so grateful the French family had kids so we went slow. When I got to the top and inhaled the fresh cool hair, with a 360 view of majestic cones with smouldering tips, big clumpy tears fell out. I stood on top of country no. 104! I had done it, I had accidentally traveled 56 countries in 52 weeks! 

And gracefully too :D I ate healthily, slept abundantly, wisely worked fewer hours and made even more money than the year before, while knowing transcendental love and keeping close with besties. That invincible feeling of having accomplished something superhuman, I’d never felt it before, never truly acknowledged it with my body and soul. It’s sweet, sweet nectar for the soul. 

The best part: I finally broke free of Mr. Diminisher, the twin brother of Mrs. Hyperachiever, who devalues everything I do. “Pfff, 104 is peanuts, some have been to ALL the countries, TWICE!”, he would say. Mr. Diminisher died that day, because I chucked him into the 60C lagoon inside the crater. 

Is your Diminisher devaluating the titanic amount of your already existing achievements? Did you move to this several foreign countries, establish yourself professionally again and again, and made friendships and romantic bonds, but your Diminisher keeps scoring you 0.25 on a total of 1,000? No true freedompreneur can succeed while dragging a Diminisher along.

Who knew that a savvy AirBnB host would lead to death of Mr. Diminisher? What were the chances?!? #awe

 

Awe Story no. 7 • The APARTMENT KEYS

I arrived in San Salvador Dec 24 and hopped to hike the Cerro Verde volcano to see the teal lagoon inside the crater. Miraculously, my AirBnB host arranged a ranger to escort me and a French family up the volcano on Christmas day, when the National Park was closed.

I was so grateful the French family had kids so we went slow. When I got to the top and inhaled the fresh cool hair, with a 360 view of majestic cones with smouldering tips, big clumpy tears fell out. I stood on top of country no. 104! I had done it, I had accidentally traveled 56 countries in 52 weeks! 

And gracefully too :D I ate healthily, slept abundantly, wisely worked fewer hours and made even more money than the year before, while knowing transcendental love and keeping close with besties. That invincible feeling of having accomplished something superhuman, I’d never felt it before, never truly acknowledged it with my body and soul. It’s sweet, sweet nectar for the soul. 

The best part: I finally broke free of Mr. Diminisher, the twin brother of Mrs. Hyperachiever, who devalues everything I do. “Pfff, 104 is peanuts, some have been to ALL the countries, TWICE!”, he would say. Mr. Diminisher died that day, because I chucked him into the 60C lagoon inside the crater. 

Is your Diminisher devaluating the titanic amount of your already existing achievements? Did you move to this several foreign countries, establish yourself professionally again and again, and made friendships and romantic bonds, but your Diminisher keeps scoring you 0.25 on a total of 1,000? No true freedompreneur can succeed while dragging a Diminisher along.

Who knew that a savvy AirBnB host would lead to death of Mr. Diminisher? What were the chances?!? #awe

 

Awe Story no. 8 • The EGG TARTS

I’ve always been drawn to the ocean. I once was the sea. So for that particular birthday, after I had legally changed my first AND last name, I celebrated my birthday in Lisbon, with two Portuguese egg tarts, right at the edge of the Atlantic Ocean. I took a selfie with my egg tarts and posted it on Fb. 

When I got home, I had 104 private messages (not comments, but actual messages), from real life loved ones, wishing me love and joy… telling me that I am love and I am joy.

I cried so hard because I recognized for the first time that I was finally able to receive love. I’ve got no problem giving love, over-giving even, but to receive wide, wide, wide openly, is something I’d been working on diligently for 3 years since the heart-cracking Westerbeck bench incident (see Awe no. 1). 

I cried and cried, because love was soooooo foreign that it hurt. Love physical hurt. Thinking back, half those tears were for every little girl who was raised with 0% capacity to receive and for every brokenhearted woman who had to pour heaps and heaps of funds to healers, counsellors, therapists, coaches and mentors to learn and practice the skill of receiving… until love hurt no longer. Sniff. 

Who knew that Mark Zukerberg + two egg tarts would validate a healed woman’s ability to receive? What were the chances?!? #awe

Can you receive? How often? Does it hurt to receive? Ego has us convinced that I can be an outstanding giver or an outstanding receive, but never both. What a lie!!! We can be both, ONLY to the ones we value. We don't have to be both to everyone. Why would I want to receive toxicity for some anonymous commenter, bleh, no thank you! Why would I give to that person, pfff, what a waste of time when I've got sooo many cherished loved ones I want to pour my love onto!

Awe Story no. x?

What are your moments of “what where the freakin’ chances?!?”? I thought I had a dozen, turns out if you keep going, if you keep believing in magic, there are 50 more moments that your ego/self-hatred has surpassed. It’s time to set them free ♥︎

With infinite grace, freedom on!

xo, Ella

Ellany LeaAUTHOR • Hi! I'm Ella, founder of Guide to Grace. I invite you to join us for an exquisite freedom at the intersection of: entrepreneurship, enlightenment, and enchantment.