Buy experiences, not things. Peru 2012 © Christelle T.
How are you? Fine. That's been the default answer for years. It's automatic, whether it's true or not. And most of the time, we underplay our sadness/pain so that we don't bumb everyone out, or we underplay our happiness/joy so that we don't make others feel shitty.
Is busy the new fine?
Here are 8 ways to interpret the meaning of busyness, so you can free yourself (and others) from busyness, and get back to business!
1. I don't know how to say no
Whether we were raised by parents who were givers (even to their own detriment), molded in a "we before me" culture, or simply get a thrill from giving to others, busy often means we don't know how to say no. We want to be a part of people's lives, we want to belong, so we say 'yes' to everything. Inevitably, we end up saying 'no' to ourselves.
2. I've lost track of my purpose
We get so swept up by external circumstances (client deadlines, family obligations, holiday happenings, etc.) that we're always in firefighter mode, putting out fires, mostly other people's fires. Your inbox becomes a never-ending list of other people's agenda.
Yes, there is a thrill that comes with checking off to-do items at rocket speed. Mostly, rocket speed means we’ve lost track of our greater vision and purpose.
“Efficiency is doing the thing right.
Effectiveness is doing the right thing.”
-- Peter F. Drucker
3. I'm suffering from FOMO
FOMO is the fear of missing out. What if my next business venture partner is at that networking event? What if the love of my life shows up at that party? We're living in scarcity, fearing that opportunities will pass us by, and that there are only so few people, resources, and opportunities to go around.
4. I'm afraid of losing connection
The fear of losing connection is different from the fear of missing out. Losing connection is the risk of being lonely and the sting of being forgotten. We miss enough events and gatherings and we’ll not be invited back again. Our minds trick us to believe this.
5. I've taken on too much
We're strong and capable, so we take on the world. When it becomes too much, we don't want to admit that we've taken on too much, and that we're failing or have failed. If we admit it, it'll mean that we can't handle things and that we can't handle your own lives. We get overwhelmed by the juggling and by the (irrational) sense of loss attached to dropping a ball.
6. I'm a people pleaser
We want to be everything, to everyone, all the time. By people pleasing, we'll feel like we're making a difference. We'll feel like our lives have meaning. We'll feel like people like us... ooooh maybe they even love us! And we'll feel like we actually matter.
7. I'm avoiding something
Speed is blinding and it's too easy to use busyness to hide from the issues that we're avoiding. We don't want to see the truth about something or someone... or ourselves. We dislike confrontation, so we convince ourselves that it's in everyone's best interest to sweep the issue under the rug. After all, who wants to be uncomfortable?
8. I feel more important
Check me out, I'm so busy and important! Haven't seen me in ages? Well then let's catch up, let's book a lunch, yes I'm free... in 2.5 months. When did "busy" imply status? When did "busy" epitomize the holy grail of success? Most people go into business to be more free and have more free time. Here's simple math: busy = less free time.
Now what? What's next?
- Like this blog if it resonated with you
- Share in the comments which "busy" sounds most like you
- ACTION: Set a daily alarm on your phone to remind you to say 'no' to 2 things every day, so you can say 'yes' to yourself more
Thank you for being a lone nut, a leader, and a friend! <3