The #1 question I'm asked lately is not about masterclasses or lifestyle freedom. It's about the soul maturation that's needed to show up, be seen and live brave in the copywriting, masterclasses, and/or events that convert to the lifestyle 'o freedom.
To my surprise, the #1 questions is: I'd like to try Ayahuasca, but I'm terrified. How do I not be terrified?
The first step is clarifying the question. What are you really asking?
QUESTIONS BEHIND THE QUESTIONS
Here's what you've asked:
- How do I forevermore shed the past and all the garbage that is enmeshed with it?
- How do I break free from the less-than-stellar parts of me that I know I have (eg. the one that makes great money, but can't enjoy it or can't retain profits)? And never default back to her ever again?
- How do I stop, once and for all, abusing myself (and/or my health) for the sake of fame and/or external validation?
- I'm so effing ready to be free (eg. attachment style, trauma recovery, etc.), but how do I make the change stick?
- They say "You are loved." How do I actually, like actually in real life, believe that or be that?
After digging deep with 23 of you (grads, loyal readers, besties, and new friends), here's what you're really asking:
- How do I permanently shed cultural indoctrination (including patriarchy)?
- How do I permanently shed my ego/smaller self?
- How do I permanently shed my fractured and wounded parts?
- How do I permanently shed my self-induced suffering?
- How do I permanently shed... self-hatred?
SYMPTOMS OF SELF-HATRED
The last question stings me to my core.
Have you dated someone who abuses you or leeches off you because you didn't feel worthy/capable of a better mate?
Have you eaten only a meal a day because you were hoarding money for the next disaster?
Have you engaged with your Fb Group or Instagram followers from an emergency room or hospital bed?
Have you gone to parties just to come home sobbing with post-comparisonitis agony?
Have you clawed your way into national media and awards so you wouldn't have to actually feel your inadequacy?
Have you diligently recharged your laptop every time it was at 1%, but can't remember the last time you felt recharged, taken care of, or even... loved?
All of the above are symptoms of... self-hatred.
I'm all about fast-tracking AND deepening. All my programs do that. But what if we could do it EVEN faster and EVEN deeper together?
The seemingly magical process of harnessing the unseen energetic forces of life to effortlessly create the extraordinary.
I've got over 108,000 words of journal entries just about my 3-moon Ayahuasca retreats. That's about 2 full non-fiction books. That's not counting the 700,000 words in blogs, the 1,200,000 words in Google Docs, the 900,000 words in written journals, the 300,000 in scanned journals, and the 2 million words in masterclass videos.
If I had to distill the 5,208,000 words (that's like 10 books!) into three pieces of insight/advice about participating in an Ayahuasca retreat, they'd be:
INSIGHT NO. 1 • GO FASTER, GO DEEPER
Ayahuasca isn't a magic pill. But it is one of the most powerful ways to surrender, to experience Oneness/God/Love/Self in your bones, and to PERMANENTLY shed whatever you're truly ready to shed... if you do it in a psychotherapeutic context. If you do it just for fun or for a trip, then don't expect too much.
But it will fast-track and deepen whatever state you're in, as much as you allow it.
Eg. If you carry trauma in your body, it'll lessen it if you allow it. It'll even eliminate it if you truly, truly, truly, truly, truly allow it.
Eg. If you carry scarcity in your psyche, it'll shove it in your face for healing or it'll melt it away nano-bit by nano-bit even without you noticing. Like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get :D
INSIGHT NO. 2 • DON'T GOOGLE IT
My Ayahuasca PLUS 10 Years* illumination will be very different from your "Ayahuasca PLUS <insert amount of self-development you've done>" illumination.
* PLUS 99 past lives, according to a shamanic energy healer I once worked with.
The most loving thing you can do is skip/bypass the ego-mind's compulsion (spurred on by patriarchy) to Google every detail about Ayahuasca because:
A. There are lots of fear mongers and shitty writers out there, unskilled at communicating stories and/or truth.
B. Not everyone understands the importance and impact of writing from a healed scar, not an open wound.
C. Whatever you read won't come anywhere close to what you actually experience. So why waste your precious time?
INSIGHT NO. 3 • LOVING SUPPORT IS NON-NEGOTIABLE
If you're gonna do it, you MUST have loving support after your retreat from someone who has been through it. You will be unraveled. You will feel scared. You might even feel insane. It might be days, it might be months. For me, it was 5 months :S. Not having support is just another form of self-hatred masked as:
- hyper self-sufficiency - I'm superwoman, I can handle this on my own.
- numbing busyness - I'm a business owner and mom, I've got mouths to feed and to-do lists to check.
- scarcity - If I spend money on support or comfort, then I won't have money to spend on things for looking good in the eyes of others.
- victimhood - I don't have friends who get it. I live far from others.