... continued from Part 1: Money May Not Buy Happiness, but It Can Buy 8 Types of Freedom.
Buy experiences, not things. © Bitstrips
5. Freedom from Asian scarcity
My parents are cheap asses, as I'm sure many of your Asian or immigrant parents are. And with good reason, they were raised in war time, war zones, or by scarcity-driven parents who were raised in war time or war zones. No one's fault. No blame here.
But watching my dad drive an extra 25 minutes to save $0.20 on mayonnaise never made sense to me. Watching my mom hoard plastic bags and left-over tofu containers like there's no tomorrow made me feel sad.
It was only when I hired a housekeeper that I freed myself from scarcity. At the time, I was making $200/hr. I paid her $20/hr. So why in the world would I spend time cleaning when I can channel those funds to someone else, who is a pro and does it 3 times quicker and twice better than I do? She always shows up with a smile, does an outstanding job, then leaves my home feeling spacious and fresh!
So yeah, money bought my $20/hr housekeeper, which bought my freedom from Asian scarcity, which yeah, bought me a heck of a lot of happiness!
6. Freedom from busy-ness
I ran into a friend at Wholefoods. We first met way back in university. We decided to pull out our calendar and book a lunch. We scheduled it for late August… but it was only May when we ran into each other. Eek! Albeit he and I both travel, but it really made me think, "what is happening to my life and my time that I can only meet up with a dear friend 4 months down the road?"
So I hired a 6-figure mentor to help me create streams of residual income for my business. The first thing she had me do, duh, was shut down one of my 3 businesses. I painfully say goodbye to a big great community of people doing amazing things for the planet to free up more of my time. What I learned is that it's never a final goodbye, it was a "let me get financially free first and then re-engaged with you" type of see-you-later.
Together, we uncovered the deep seeded roots of what busy-ness actually means. And then, she made me shut down one of my remaining 2 businesses. Well, made me is a bit of a stretch. She encouraged me. Again, painful, painful, painful to say see-you-later to people, students and weekly activities that made my heart sing and my spirit soar. Cried and grieved it for a long, long time. Felt like I had failed my students. But guess what, my coaching practiced soared through the roof!!!
If you want to be free, give up all that weighs you down. Who knew that my two other businesses were "dead weight"?!?
So yeah, money bought my $7,000 mentor, which bought my freedom from busy-ness, which yeah, bought me a heck of a lot of happiness!
7. Freedom from being too nice
My fribling (friend-sibling) and I often laugh at all the silly things we do because we're too nice. We used to get walked all over by friends, family and boyfriends because we wanted so much to give, we were terrible at receiving, and so we basically told the world that we weren't worth much, so feel free to walk all over us.
My biggest life lesson came when a fellow entrepreneur/friend got triggered by a guy who chose to date another girl and not her. Swirls of "why am I not good enough?" and "what does she have that I don't have?" engulfed her. And… she took it out on me. She loaded her machine gun and blasted words, anger, resentment, hatred, name-calling, criticism, noise, and judgment bombs at me. Hello?!? He chose another girl. What does that have to do with me?!?
I immediately left that social circle and joined another business networking group. Thank god I never had to see her or her posse again. Yuk! Is she so unconscious and full of self-loathing that her default coping mechanism was to hurt another when she's feeling hurt? Don't know, don't care, not my monkeys, not my circus.
So yeah, money bought my new $550 business networking membership, which bought my freedom from people who take advantage of people who are too nice, which upgraded who I surrounded myself with, which yeah, bought me a heck of a lot of happiness!
8. Freedom from being liked
For months, I watched a dear friend suffer. He's a people pleaser. His life's purpose, or more accurately, his ego's life purpose was to be liked. It was fascinating to watch. If people he admired asked him to jump, he wouldn't ask how high. He'd have jumped to the moon and back, made them a casserole and asked, "shall I jump again for you?"
It was both hilarious and painful to watch. I brought it up with him a few times and eventually he saw the irony of it all. But he couldn't stop. His ego was driving the ship and if there's even the tiniest chance to be liked, he'd give up his values, flush his visionboard down the toilet, and forget his goals… for the promise of a little dose of like.
The reason this is so crystal clear to me is because I used to be him. I used to be the ultimate people pleaser searching for unconditional love. What self-loathing I carried around in my body! I felt inadequate at all times, like a burden to my parents, and a speck of dust that is wasting space in the Universe, so I empathize.
My reading and implementing a book a week, along with my coach training, turned that all around. My sense of self-worth increased, my ability to receive increased, and my willingness to see myself through the best lens possible soared.
So yeah, money bought my $11,000 coaching program, which released me from my people pleaser, which yeah, bought me a heck of a lot of happiness!
Will money alone buy happiness? Of course not. Can money buy happiness? Yeah, yeah it can. I live by the motto of buying experience, rather than things. It's a head scratcher when:
I see people buy super expensive bikes and not be able to ride them for fear of it being stolen;
I see people buy super expensive cars and not be able to live downtown because of the cost of parking;
I see people buy super expensive houses and not be able to afford a vacation or some wanderlust travel.
So we do this to ourselves. We imprison ourselves. I'm so grateful I'm not attached to things. I'm so grateful I'm attached to freedom! What's more important to you, things (looking good) or freedom (feeling great)?
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