Hello from exotic Madagascar!!
This blog is for all the badass and powerhouse women, who inexplicably resort to wounded child behavior, when it comes to a few aspects of growth in business and in life.
This happens very commonly because in childhood, our natural developmental arc got interrupted by an event, from trauma and chronic bullying all the way to having had your ice cream stolen by a sibling. No matter how big or small the event, we didn't get the comfort, acknowledgement or love we needed to grow passed that event.
So a fragment of our fragile little ego-mind stayed stunted at that age, creating and anchoring, within its identity, stories of:
- I am invisible
- I am worthless
- I am a burden
- I don't belong
- I am unwanted
- I am unsafe
Wounded Child Archetypes
It has taken foreeeeeever and a day to get this rich, beautiful guidebook into your hands with 12 Wounded Child Archetypes and dozens upon dozens of:
- symptoms + perpetuating behaviors
- unintended impact on others
- false identities to release
- healing mantras
- gifts of the wound, and
- maturation + integration practices
...because I had 10 of the 12 wounded children running amok inside me. 😭😭😭🥊
Ten!!! I thought I'd have 2 or 3. Maybe 5 at most, but ten?!?! 😭😭😭🤯
When I finally stopped sobbing at the cruel, cruel world that would cause an innocent girl to accumulate 10 wounded children inside herself, and went for a walk on the beach, my soul whispered, "Hey, at least you don't have all 12."
Gifts of the Wound
As a stickler for walking her talk, before I could guide you to maturate your inner wounded children, I spent a few years stopping ALL behaviors of mine that perpetuated the wounded identity. I integrated and maturated all 10 wounded children of mine. Gawd, I felt like an overworked and underpaid kindergarten teacher!!! Or rather, unpaid volunteer. 🤪🥊
My saving grace though, the one thing that kept me sane and hopeful of the light at the end of this tunnel, was the Gifts of the Wound.
Example No. 1 • Gifts of the Wound • The Freak Child
My whole life, I've been called “weird,” "What is wrong with this one?" (<-- a family member actually word for word asked this to my mom's face) and even “freak.” I've been ostracized so many times and fallen into so many depressions, under the crushing sting of non-belonging.
Well, the gifts of that wound is: I have a natural ability to make people feel seen, lovingly accepted, never ever judged, and even championed for their weirdness. I'm always the first people deeply connect to and naturally wired to create sanctuaries for all weirdos to belong to.
Example No. 2 • Gifts of the Wound • The Burdened Child
My parents fought relentlessly about money in every shade, from raging outbursts to passive aggressively. I carried that identity of "I am a burden" until I was 35. It explains the suicide ideation of, "The fighting would stop and everything would be better if I didn’t exist."
Well, the gifts of that wound is: I have superhuman resourcefulness, developed from decades of hyper self-sufficiency and the vow to never be a burden on anyone else. I'm hella strong and can do anything, from plumbing to psychotherapy, from microchip design to energetic healing. People in my inner circles feel so unburdened, so free in relationship with me.
Viewed through sacred lenses, your deepest wounds become your greatest gifts.
– Ellany Lea
The Unsafe Child
THE haaaaaardest child for me to maturate was the “Unsafe Child.” I remember the exact moment my sense of safety was stripped away, and every moment after that when it was stripped again and again. Thank god trauma is healable. And now, viewed through sacred lenses, my deepest wound of chronic unsafety has become my greatest gift:
- My clients come to me because they’ve never felt so safe and held, with such deep trust and compassion
- I’m always the first person to whom people tell their secrets, whether it's coming out of the closet, cheating on their partner, moving in with a boyfriend after 3 weeks of dating, making $17,000 in one day, or falling in love with friend’s ex-husband. This is a privilege and sacred gift that I wouldn’t trade away, even if it meant being spared decades of trauma and pain.
- In order to find and reclaim my own sense of safety, I’ve become the queen of self-care and spreadsheets. My home and my being feel like a spa for the soul and my travels to 128 countries are filled with grace and magic because I'm so organized and zen.
The Pillow Fort
Though my wounded "Unsafe Child" has been maturated, I still love to build pillow forts, as a safety cocoon. So at every retreat, I unapologetically build a giant pillow fort that fellow participants glance with envy. How they would love to dive right in and take up residence.
This one time, at an Ayahuasca retreat, instead of a fort, I rather built a pillow volcano. Then under the influence of Ayahuasca, I lay the back of my heart chakra on the peak of that volcano, splayed out like a star fish. God I wish I had filmed it, you would have laughed for hours!
Eventually, I must have wiggled, because I found myself slipping off the volcano ‘o pillows in slooooooooooooooooooow motion. I sensed every micrometer by micrometer. I wasn't afraid, I wasn't paralyzed, I was just so amused that there was nothing I could do, other than impersonate the voice of the Wicked Witch of the West with, “I’m sliiiiiiiiiiding.”
Once two thirds of my body slid onto the floor, I heard myself exclaim, “I’m meeeeeeelting [into the floor]”. Then some time later, I liquefied and was “flooooooowing into the fireplace.” Must have been hilarious to watch, god I wish I filmed my facial expressions!!!
4 Levels of Knowing
It was about a year and half later, when I casually mentioned to a friend, “I can’t yet masterfully bend time, but I can definitely slow it down to a halt,” I realized the depth and significance of this slow motion experience.
- My mind knows about time freedom, it's the #1 thing I work on with my clients
- My soul knows The Void and Eternity, that there is no time
- My heart knows the joy and peace of working 2-3 days a week, 3 weeks a month, 9 months a year
- Lastly, thanks to this experience, my body now knows what slowing time down to a halt feels like and so it can recreate it again.
With this full set of mind, body, heart and soul knowing (all 4 levels of knowing), I gained an entirely new dimension and definition of time freedom. It's not just having the hours in a day to do whatever I want, whenever, wherever, however, with whomever I want. This is still true, and now, I can access freedom from time without even doing anything or going anywhere. 🤯 That is true time freedom.
What would you be willing to do, who would you be willing to become to live in true time freedom?
1,000 Reclamations for Freedom
💎 Reclaimed my maturation + liberation from 10 Wounded Child Archetypes
💎 Reclaimed the gifts of the wound from my 10 Wounded Child Archetypes
💎 Reclaimed access to multi-dimensionality (4D and beyond!)
💎 Reclaimed true time freedom (all 4 levels of knowing)