As Spring blossoms, more and more women are reaching out to me, vulnerably sharing how it’s only April and they’re already burnt out. They’ve fallen waaay behind their goals. They’re already busier than their busiest time last year.
Why does this happen? Who do intelligent, curious, powerful women entrepreneurs end up burnt out, behind and busy before all the flowers have sprung and the leaves have leafed?
Buy experiences, not things. Rising Strong 2015 © Ellany Lea
1. You are only free if you are no longer directly involve
You will only be truly free, if you’ve got an asset/product (digital or physical) that generates income without your direct involvement. The product of choice for women overachievers is an e-course, because it has global reach and impact. So create one, I suggest. But they don’t…
Why? Because it’d hurt too much if the e-course doesn’t sell. Because they haven’t developed Rising Strong strategies to face the (potential, but unlikely) fall, knowing for certain that they’d rise again. They’ve already convinced themselves that they’ll fall and it’ll hurt waaay too much, so they 1) never create their e-course or 2) sabotage themselves and their e-course the whole way through. There you have it: no emotional freedom, no financial freedom.
2. You are only free if others are working for you
You will only be truly free, if others are doing work for you and supporting you. The second most recurring struggle my clients come to me with is the inability to hire a virtual assistant. They’ve been lone wolves their whole lives and just don’t know how to ask for or receive help. They have the money, but convince themselves that it’s a terrible way to invest that money.
Why? Because they know that if they hire a VA, they’ll have all this free time… that people will want to hog or steal… and it’ll be too painful to say no and set titanium boundaries. The looming (potential, but unlikely) dread that they’ll lose people, opportunities or things if they set boundaries amplifies as time passes. In the end, they’re overwhelmed, drained, and resenting their business.
3. You are only free if you stop perfecting
You will only be truly free, if you stop perfecting. I know so many 6-figure women (clients, friends, colleagues) who are in a state of “failure to launch” because they’re perfecting their e-course or their VIP program. They could have made $7,000 per program with a good enough program, but they are losing tens of thousands of dollars perfecting the perfect $10,000 program.
Why? Because ten out of ten times, they’re over-functioning to compensate for their inner feeling of inadequacy. It’s like women came with a code pre-programmed inside our DNA that constantly shouts at us how inadequate we are, how “not enough” we are. Had they developed Rising Strong shame resiliency, they’d see that even if no one buys their $7,000 program (potential, but unlikely), they are secure in the knowing that they, as a person, is enough.
4. You are only free if you remember who you are
You will only be truly free, if you remember who you are. I know many women whose clients are corporations because they’ve convinced themselves that it’s the only way to make the big bucks, that selling to individuals won’t get them to riches. (So not true.) What ends up happening is they are burnt out by the work they don’t love, dragged down by the people they don’t enjoy working with, and hating the bureaucracy and environment that they’ve put themselves in. They need to course correct, they know this, but they don’t.
Why? Because they didn’t forge their identity at the very beginning. They forgot what they stood for, they forgot what matters most to them, they went so far with the flow that they’re drowning in someone else’s flow. Rising Strong is all about remembering who you are, in the chaos of entrepreneurship, relationships, finance, health, travel, friendships, and life.
If I only knew 20 years ago...
These are all reasons and lessons I wish I knew ten, nay twenty years ago!! Actually, make that 30 years ago. How differently I would have been and done things, had I known these truths. How differently would you have been? How differently would you have done things?
I still can’t believe that Brené Brown has trained only 1,200 of us in her Daring Way and Rising Strong programs. Obviously, there are other coaches, psychologist and counsellors on the planet capable of similar work, But if you do the math, each trained Daring Way/Rising Strong facilitator is responsible for ushering 6.16 million people through the process of daring greatly and rising strong. Yeeps.
A lot of programs teach you how to succeed. Very rare are programs that teach you how to succeed AND fail AND get back up again. Keep this in mind!