Filial Piety & Overcompensation • Why Skyholders, Money Trees and Immigrant Children Are So Burnt Out
Ever since I was little, I was called a "money tree" as a term of endearment. You shake it and money is supposed to fall out. It wasn't until I realized the insidious role of "filial piety" that I understood what drives overachievers and immigrants to burnout.
🌀 Present self as having it all together and don’t need anything from anyone. 🌀 Be a know-it-all, constantly correcting others with unsolicited advice, closed off to new insights, lessons, or perspectives. 🌀 Uncomfortable in a room if not holding a position of power or importance (usually the leader, rarely the follower).
🌀 Live in chronic stress / fear that it’s dangerous to be seen (eg. I’ll be burnt at the stake or hacked down to size). 🌀 Shy, always redirect focus on others to hide true self, worth, and/or power. 🌀 Unable not to give to others, even if at my own expense, exhaustion or annihilation.
🌀 Carry the false belief that it’s evil to have (money, love, joy, pleasure), that I need to be poor to be good. 🌀 Chronically borrow against my own well being by over-working and under-earning. 🌀 Crushed under the weight of scarcity, with never enough time, money, opportunities, support, love to go around.
🌀 Rarely content because life is ruled by impossibly high standards of perfection. 🌀 Chronically over-give, over-do and over-compensate just to get the same success and/or validation as everyone else. 🌀 Organize life around duty and survival (eg. debt, clutter, barren home) rather than thriving (eg. beauty, joy, pleasure).