To suckle the peace of karmic completion

My Opportestiny™

Ellany's Stories of Opportunity + Test + Test + Test + Test + Test + Test + Test + Destiny

Ellany Lea - Phoenix Whisperer

Ellany Lea - Phoenix Whisperer

On even days, I wake up haunted by, "Aww crap. Still here."

On odd days, I wake up haunted by, "How am I even still alive, no less at peace in joy?"

If I wrote my whole story to my whole Self, could I be freed from this haunting?

Only in the fever of creation could she recreate her own lost life.

– Anaïs Nin

This was my lost life...

Call it an examination of decimation, of everything I ever lost... or never even had in the first place.

Childhood

Self-trust

Deservingness

Safety

Innocence

Dignity

Worth

Identity

Genius

Self-expression

Agency

Will to live

Nurturance

Choice

Humaneness

Appetite for life

Belonging

Validity

Self-compassion

Relevance

Radiance

Self-esteem

Equity

Wholeness

+ 13 Universal Losses / Smashings • PeaceTimeJoyProsperityFreedomTrust in goodness of LifeTrust in Homo sapiensNeedsRight to have emotions/feelAbility to emote, EmbodimentThriving

Grief Autopsy Report

7

Small T's

Small t

From developmental arrest and/or neglect traumas

16.5

Big T's

Big T

From acute and/or event-based traumas

10

Chronic T's

Chronic T

From repeated and/or prolonged traumas

13

Complex T's

Complex T

From comorbidity of Small, Big and/or Chronic traumas

9

Intergen T's

Small t

From intergenerational, inherited and/or secondary traumas

11

Pre 6 years old T's

Pre 6

From "you're f*cked for a long time, but there's hope" traumas

10

Pre 3 years old T's

Pre 3

From "you're scared for life, but not f*cked for life" traumas

14.5

Money T's

Money T

From chronic financial poverty, deprivation and/or under-support

CAUSE OF DEATH

Human curelty, stunting,  and dumbassery

MANNER OF DEATH

Chronically treated as object*, animal†, and culprit‡

* ATM, sheath, doormat, machete target
† Scapegoat, sacrificial lamb, alley dog, sitting duck
‡ Atlas, Sisyphus

CORONER'S REMARKS

Incarnation to Earth was a bad, bad idea

Note • Report does not include day-to-day micro-aggressions and micro-assaults that don't "count" as traumas. Sigh.

Whatever pain you can’t get rid of, make it your creative offering.

– SUSAN CAIN

This is my creative offering...

Opportestiny™

4 Types of Knowing

kintsugi-teal

Kintsugi (金継ぎ) is the Japanese art of mending broken pottery with seams of gold.

It honors each fragment's story and breathes new life into a once broken, now original vessel.

4 Stages of Opportestiny™

Inspiring, funny, and gnarly astories of mental + emotional + somatic + spiritual kintsugi.

STAGE 1

smashed-glass-bw

The Smashing

The smashing into 12 Wounded Children and 12 Wounded Adults

STAGE 2

kintsugi-black-gold

The Healing

The kintsugi of my 12 Wounded Children

STAGE 3

kintsugi-color-gold

The Reclamation

The kintsugi of my 12 Wounded Adults

STAGE 4

liquid-gold-swirl

The Integration

"Ella, you were never the shards. You are the gold that mends."

Grieve. Thoroughly. Anything you lose comes round in another form.

– Ellany Lea / Rumi-Altered

This is the other form...

131 Countries

Exquisite Fulfillment

Spiritual Intelligence

Ageless Joy + Vitality

10 Types of Freedom

16 Career Reinventions

bitmoji-how-confused-edited

But how?!?

How am I even still alive, no less at peace in joy, given a record of...

.

icon-disorder-CPTSD

CPTSD

icon-disorder-MECFS

ME/CFS

icon-disorder-ADHD

ADHD

icon-disorder-MCAS

MCAS

icon-cesarean-section

BPI

icon-disorder-MDD

MDD

TBI

Many -itis's

Survived this ⤵︎

icon-disorder-POTS

POTS

icon-disorder-2E

2E-Gifted

icon-disorder-CIRS

CIRS

icon-disorder-MCS

MCS

icon-car-crash-bump

WAD

icon-disorder-GAD

GAD

SAD

Many itus's