To suckle the peace of karmic completion
My Opportestiny™
Ellany's Stories of Opportunity + Test + Test + Test + Test + Test + Test + Test + Destiny
On even days, I wake up haunted by, "Aww crap. Still here."
On odd days, I wake up haunted by, "How am I even still alive, no less at peace in joy?"
If I wrote my whole story to my whole Self, could I be freed from this haunting?
Only in the fever of creation could she recreate her own lost life.
– Anaïs Nin
Childhood
Self-trust
Deservingness
Safety
Innocence
Dignity
Worth
Identity
Genius
Self-expression
Agency
Will to live
Nurturance
Choice
Humaneness
Appetite for life
Belonging
Validity
Self-compassion
Relevance
Radiance
Self-esteem
Equity
Wholeness
+ 13 Universal Losses / Smashings • Peace, Time, Joy, Prosperity, Freedom, Trust in goodness of Life, Trust in Homo sapiens, Needs, Right to have emotions/feel, Ability to emote, Embodiment, Thriving
7
Small T's
From developmental arrest and/or neglect traumas
16.5
Big T's
From acute and/or event-based traumas
10
Chronic T's
From repeated and/or prolonged traumas
13
Complex T's
From comorbidity of Small, Big and/or Chronic traumas
9
Intergen T's
From intergenerational, inherited and/or secondary traumas
11
Pre 6 years old T's
From "you're f*cked for a long time, but there's hope" traumas
10
Pre 3 years old T's
From "you're scared for life, but not f*cked for life" traumas
CAUSE OF DEATH
Human curelty, stunting, and dumbassery
MANNER OF DEATH
Chronically treated as object*, animal†, and culprit‡
* ATM, sheath, doormat, machete target
† Scapegoat, sacrificial lamb, alley dog, sitting duck
‡ Atlas, Sisyphus
CORONER'S REMARKS
Incarnation to Earth was a bad, bad idea
Note • Report does not include day-to-day micro-aggressions and micro-assaults that don't "count" as traumas. Sigh.
Whatever pain you can’t get rid of, make it your creative offering.
– SUSAN CAIN
This is my creative offering...
Opportestiny™
4 Types of Knowing
Kintsugi (金継ぎ) is the Japanese art of mending broken pottery with seams of gold.
It honors each fragment's story and breathes new life into a once broken, now original vessel.
4 Stages of Opportestiny™
Inspiring, funny, and gnarly astories of mental + emotional + somatic + spiritual kintsugi.
STAGE 1
The Smashing
The smashing into 12 Wounded Children and 12 Wounded Adults
STAGE 2
The Healing
The kintsugi of my 12 Wounded Children
STAGE 3
The Reclamation
The kintsugi of my 12 Wounded Adults
STAGE 4
The Integration
"Ella, you were never the shards. You are the gold that mends."
Grieve. Thoroughly. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
– Ellany Lea / Rumi-Altered
This is the other form...
131 Countries
Exquisite Fulfillment
Spiritual Intelligence
Ageless Joy + Vitality
10 Types of Freedom
16 Career Reinventions
But how?!?
How am I even still alive, no less at peace in joy, given a record of...
.
CPTSD
ME/CFS
ADHD
MCAS
BPI
MDD
TBI
Many -itis's
Survived this ⤵︎
POTS
2E-Gifted
CIRS
MCS
WAD
GAD
SAD
Many itus's