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Wounded Child Archetypes • Name the wounds. Shed the lies. Free the soul.
Wounded Child Archetypes (WCAs) are clusters of beliefs, thoughts, emotions and behaviors based on a false identity created in childhood.
- Each WCA was born for the child's adaptive survival, but often morphs into the adult's maladaptive self-destruction.
- WCAs hold the personal and collective memories of our childhood pain, abuse, neglect and/or trauma.
- There are 12 WCAs, usually with 2-3 dominant ones that eclipse all others.
- WCAs can catapult many of us wise beyoooooond our years and can also imprison us in self-pity, blame and/or unforgiveness.
- You are not a wounded child. You have WCAs inside you.
Want to liberate yourself/this world, lead a revolution, unleash a masterpiece and/or attain mastery? 🔥 Then identify your top Wounded Child Archetypes and make a fuel change. ⤵︎
Wounded Child Archetypes Test
Dear Phoenix,
They say the first 40 years of childhood are the hardest. No kidding. I had/have aaaaaaaaaaaall 12 Wounded Child Archetypes 🤦🏻♀️. Good news is: wounds can heal, even if it's mofo costly and hard.
From wounded to warrior, victim to victory or martyr to mystic, let's riiiiiise together! 🔥
Table of Contents
Category |
Archetype |
---|---|
1 • "Not enough" Wounds | Failure • Deprived • Insufficient |
2 • "Too much" Wounds | Freak • Burden • Too Much |
3 • Neglect Wounds | Unsafe • Powerless • Mistake |
4 • Existence Wounds | Invisible • Abandoned • Disposable |
Each of the 12 Wounded Child Archetypes has its own:
- false identities to release
- symptoms + perpetuating behaviors
- unintended impact
- healing mantras
- gifts of the wound, and
- maturation + integration practices.
• • •
1 • "Not enough" Wounds
Archetype | False Identity | Fueled By |
---|---|---|
Failure Child |
I don’t do enough | Guilt |
Deprived Child | I don't have enough | Scarcity |
Insufficient Child | I am not enough | Shame |
Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Always say yes and take on more than I can handle, stressing self to the max
- Fall off the face of the earth when I start to notice that I can’t meet all my promises
- Use extreme busyness or disorganization to sabotage my own success / well-being
- ... 11 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others feel that my failure ripple effects onto their success and/or well-being
- Others feel deeply disappointed highly frustrated with me because I don’t meet their expectations
- Others get excited about my ideas, but lose confidence and/or stop investing in me when there’s poor follow-through
- ... 3 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Carries a revolutionary spirit that draws many in to unite against the status quo
- Deep empathy, compassion and acceptance of people / their limitations
- Extremely creative and resourceful, with outside-the-box thinking / solutions
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Know my capacity and stop overextending myself beyond my “sweet spot”
- Name and honor my truest values, shedding cultural / parental indoctrination
- Set and maintain boundaries based on realistic and limited resources (time, money, focus)
- ... 4 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
OPPORTUNITY![]() Heal human stunting |
+ | TEST![]() Reclaim self-esteem |
+ | DESTINY![]() Transmit humane-ness |
|
Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Carry belief that I'm not allowed to have and/or I need to be poor to be good
- Chronically borrow against my own well-being by over-working and under-earning
- Crushed under weight of scarcity, never enough to go around
- ... 10 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others neglect my needs/desires or don’t even know that I have needs/desires since they’ve never seen me tend to them
- Others don’t reciprocate my acts of generosity, even though they give to others
- Others feel exhausted or drained by my frantic way of life
- ... 3 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Deep compassion and solidarity for the underdog or minority
- Pure heart of service, with powerful gifts that bless all the world
- Extremely generous and kind to all
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Generate evergreen structures for prosperity and become a trustworthy guardian of wealth
- Increase my worth, celebrate my accomplishments and raise the value/price of what I offer
- Ask others for what I need / desire in compelling ways and expand my capacity to receive
- ... 4 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
OPPORTUNITY![]() Heal human greed |
+ | TEST![]() Reclaim deservingness |
+ | DESTINY![]() Transmit choice |
|
Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Rarely content because life is ruled by impossibly high standards of perfection
- Chronically over-give, over-do and over-compensate for crumbs of validation
- Organize life around duty over thriving
- ... 12 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others feel like they can’t keep up
- Others feel like they’ll never live up to my high standards, no matter how they try
- Others feel drained and/or overwhelmed by my unspoken neediness/wishes
- ... 4 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Deeply cares and champions others to flourish into their unique brilliance
- Achieves excellence at anything and everything the mind/heart is set on
- Mama bear archetype, with generous care and support toward others
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Cultivate the courage to say “no” (boundaries) and leave joy sucking people / situations
- Name and integrate all my parts, light and shadow, with humor and lightheartedness
- Practice receiving love, time, money, praise, support from others in order to thrive
- ... 4 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
OPPORTUNITY![]() Heal parental deficiencies |
+ | TEST![]() Reclaim innocence |
+ | DESTINY![]() Transmit wonder |
|
• • •
• • •
2 • "Too much" Wounds
Archetype | False Identity | Fueled By |
---|---|---|
Freak Child | I am too different | Self-disgust |
Burden Child | I am too needy | Self-pity (SI) |
Too Much Child | I am too intense | Repressed anger |
Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Black sheep of the family, never really fitting in anywhere, longing for belonging
- Carry belief that life is unkind, that Earth is not made for people like me
- Suffer from severe self-doubt and/or self-hatred due to lack of loving validation of my unique traits / gifts
- ... 11 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others perceive me as cool and indifferent when all I want is to truly belong
- Others don’t deepen intimacy with me because I rarely set any roots
- Others don’t include or invite me in, assuming that I’m not interested
- ... 6 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Genuinely fosters deep sense of love, acceptance and belonging for others
- Trailblazer, trendsetter, pioneer, courageously discovering uncharted territories for all
- Highly specialized skills to champion the world to think / see outside-the-box
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Develop compelling leadership that draws others to buy in to who I am and what I offer
- Join common interest groups and engage with peers while keeping unique self-expression
- Alchemize differences and conflicts into collective wisdom and lasting intimacy/partnership
- ... 4 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
OPPORTUNITY![]() Heal human fracture |
+ | TEST![]() Reclaim belonging |
+ | DESTINY![]() Transmit self-expression |
|
Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Stay small and mousy, so not to make waves or bother anyone
- Curse of self-sufficiency (extraordinarily capable and self-reliant, thus others rarely to me, thus feeling isolated)
- Feel compulsively obligated to fix and rescue everyone/everything that is wrong
- ... 11 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others don’t initiate giving to me because they assume I have it all together or don’t need/desire anything
- Others feel excluded by my self-reliance
- Others dump all their issues and problems on me to fix for them
- ... 6 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Extremely independent, self-reliant, resourceful and creative
- Makes others feel cherished by unloading their burdens
- Capable of undertaking massive complex projects, with massive success
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Select relationships that are equally giving/receiving, where neither is a burden to the other
- Connect deeply and welcome with love my feelings / needs / desires, knowing they are valid, reasonable, and essential to my well-being and to the blossoming of the world
- Develop custom rituals that invite me to powerfully take up space and express my voice
- ... 3 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
OPPORTUNITY![]() Heal human scarcity |
+ | TEST![]() Reclaim appetite for life |
+ | DESTINY![]() Transmit will to live |
|
Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Constantly misunderstood and told to calm down, be quiet and/or stop moving
- Others are overwhelmed by largeness of my ambition, energy, speed, creativity, etc.
- Chronically suppress my needs/desires, fearing they are “too much” for others, erupting in dramatic outburst when no longer able to self-suppress
- ... 10 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others feel left behind because they can’t keep up with me
- Others feel intimidated / threatened by me, so they dismiss, ostracize, gaslight and/or turn people against me
- Others don’t understand me, thus rarely invest in my dreams and creative pursuits
- ... 5 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Original thinker and seer of solutions, not limited by conformity
- Extremely bright and competent, with huge range / depth of skills and interests
- Maverick, trailblazer and/or innovator
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Create opportunities for juicy projects that match my high capacity, energy and genius
- Develop decision making strategies based on clear boundaries and strong intuition
- Refine the dance between permission for self-expression and unintended impact on others
- ... 3 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
OPPORTUNITY![]() Heal human ignorance |
+ | TEST![]() Reclaim self-trust |
+ | DESTINY![]() Transmit agency |
|
• • •
• • •
3 • Neglect Wounds
Archetype | False Identity | Fueled By |
---|---|---|
Unsafe Child | I am unprotected | Fear |
Powerless Child | I am helpless | Despair |
Mistake Child | I am invalid | Dehumanization |
Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Always in state of hyper-vigilance, waiting for the other shoe to drop
- Overly naïve, open, trusting, and disclosing of intimate details before others have earned my trust, thus attracting narcissists, sociopaths and/or con artists
- Take a lot of uncalculated risks, living close to the edge, with few safety nets
- ... 9 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others walk on eggshells around me, afraid to set off my intense reaction to “small things” that are no big deal to them, but are a huge deals to me
- Narcissists, sociopaths and/or con artists target me as easy prey
- Others are turned off or leave me because they find me very difficult to please
- ... 4 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Highly perceptive and master of details
- Child-like innocence that champions authenticity, purity of heart and humor
- Makes others feel held and safe
- ... 3 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Take time to discern people / situations instead of blinding diving all in, and only trust them after they have repeatedly demonstrated their trustworthiness
- Dis-identify self from the victim or martyr archetype, and grow into a whole being who is able to relate and witness the suffering of others with compassion, without enmeshing self
- Learn to self-soothe when anxiety, fear, and/or disappointment escalate
- ... 3 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
OPPORTUNITY![]() Heal human betrayal |
+ | TEST![]() Reclaim peace |
+ | DESTINY![]() Transmit wholeness |
|
Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Present self as having it all together and don’t need anything from anyone
- Be a know-it-all, constantly correcting others with unsolicited advice
- Uncomfortable in a room if not holding a position of power or importance (usually the leader, rarely the follower)
- ... 11 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others are put off by my know-it-all defense mechanism, thus not interested in befriending me
- On one extreme, others idolize me and make me their guru
- On the other extreme, others feel small and/or inadequate around me and avoid me all together
- ... 5 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Champions others to rise into their own personal empowerment
- Beats at the rhythm of own drum, giving others permission to do the same
- Tremendous passion and ease for learning new things
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Express my doubts and knowledge gaps vulnerably and see the power of that transparency
- Champion and feed power to others without losing own power (power is not finite)
- Trust and lean into discomfort as a way to raise my daring leadership and power
- ... 4 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
OPPORTUNITY![]() Heal human cruelty |
+ | TEST![]() Reclaim self-compassion |
+ | DESTINY![]() Transmit genius |
|
Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Extremely high expectations of self/others to be perfect, saintly and a millionaire, all at once
- Vacillate between scapegoat “everything is my fault” and blame “everything is your fault”
- Carry belief that Life is punishing me for being born as a big mistake
- ... 11 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others blame their problems on me because they know I’ll assume the fault
- Others make a lot of mistakes around me, lost in my roller coaster of demanding perfectionism and disappearing off the face of the earth
- Others find me disingenuous and/or awkward and walk on eggshells around me
- ... 3 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Passionate champion of non-conformity
- Huge capacity for creativity and willing to take on massive responsibilities for advancement of humanity
- Carries for the world the hope of a better future
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Work smarter, not harder. Choose depth over speed. Pull back to launch forward.
- Graciously decline opportunities that sound thrilling, but don’t fit onto my already full plate
- Create and stick to structures that provide more order / enjoyment / freedom (eg. auto-bill payment, writing buddy, colorful post-it mindmap, accountability partner, etc.)
- ... 3 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
OPPORTUNITY![]() Heal human contempt |
+ | TEST![]() Reclaim validity |
+ | DESTINY![]() Transmit equity |
|
• • •
• • •
4 • Existence Wounds
Archetype | False Identity | Fueled By |
---|---|---|
Invisible Child | I don't matter | Apathy |
Abandoned Child | I am unwanted | Grief |
Disposable Child | I am worthless | Self-hatred |
Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Live in chronic stress / fear that it’s dangerous to be seen (eg. I’ll be burnt at the stake or hacked down to pieces)
- Shy, always redirect focus on others to hide true self
- Over-give to others, at my own expense
- ... 11 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others gloss over me, don’t ask how I am and/or forget they’ve met me before
- Others are self-absorbed in relationship with me and punish me if I suddenly express my feelings/needs/desires
- Others enjoy how important and seen they feel when around me, but don’t reciprocate the same level of attentiveness
- ... 4 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Innate superpower to see the invisible and hear the unspoken
- Profoundly trustworthy, making others feel deeply safe, seen and cherished
- Deeply insightful, intuitive, empathetic, discerning, compassionate, nurturing, and peaceful to be around
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Initiate my own authentic leadership without waiting for others to invite me
- Create relationships where my / others’ needs can both be present and mutually met
- Connect deeply to my soul’s purpose and express / share my greatness in creative ways
- ... 3 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
OPPORTUNITY![]() Heal human unconsciousnes |
+ | TEST![]() Reclaim validity |
+ | DESTINY![]() Transmit radiance |
|
Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Isolate my entire life inside chronic self-sufficiency and/or addictions
- Contort self to be what others want to be loved, accepted and/or validated
- Overstay relationships because I can’t bear abandoning others and/or being alone
- ... 10 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others have no clue who I truly am, since I shape shift so often to suit who they need / desire me to be
- Others are repulsed by or keep their distance from my heavy victim energy
- Others find me unapproachable, difficult, and/or draining to be around
- ... 5 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Highly independent and exceptionally competent and resourceful
- Huge capacity for deep, heart-centered, soulful connection with others
- Achieves extraordinary results
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Foster a deep, whole and loving relationship with self so that I always have Me by my side
- Develop resilience and trust in the overall goodness of Life, especially in the face of grief
- Practice authenticity and vulnerability to allow others to know the real me, so they are compelled to care for, champion and/or give to me
- ... 3 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
OPPORTUNITY![]() Heal human primitiveness |
+ | TEST![]() Reclaim nurturance |
+ | DESTINY![]() Transmit identity |
|
Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Give away my resources (time, energy, money, body, services, etc.) for very little or nothing in return, as if they were disposable
- Chronically borrow against my own safety and well-being, thus perpetually feeling depleted or indebted
- Overstay miserable relationships and/or flee at the first sign of conflict
- ... 11 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others feel entitled to my kindness and generosity, thus becoming freeloaders
- Others don’t even notice/remember me
- Others don’t see my value-add, so are not inspired to support me
- ... 6 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Deeply sensitive to the suffering of others, with huge compassion / kindness
- Extraordinary capacity to see the true value of people and situations
- Humble and intuitive, with leadership to inspire others to rise in consciousness
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Explore activities / people that bring me joy and make them a necessity and priority
- Practice receiving gracefully, letting go of guilt or reactive auto-reciprocation
- Listen to needs / desires of others, without rushing to rescue or take them on as my duty
- ... 4 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
OPPORTUNITY![]() Heal gender inequality |
+ | TEST![]() Reclaim worth |
+ | DESTINY![]() Transmit dignity |
|
• • •
The first 40 years of childhood are the hardest.
No kidding.
(First Published Aug 28, 2019)
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Having navigated 131 countries, 87 emotions, 46.5 traumas, and 16 careers, Ellany Lea inspires and guides phoenixes, overachievers, entrepreneurs and wayshowers to live fierce, fulfilled and free.