When I embarked on my 16-country-in-16-weeks Exquisite Freedom tour to look for my geographical home, I had no idea that it would lead to a 56-country-in-52-weeks journey the next year to find my home to my soul.
By the time I reached country no. 104, I had narrowed my choices down to Portugal, Spain and Argentina. I began my research on visas and within an hour, I stumbled upon a simple, straight-forward visa to live in Spain for a year.
The main requirement was: 35 years old or under. I was 35 years and 11 months old, so I still qualified!!! Had I done my research one month later, it would have been a much more challenging and complex process.
Within 2.5 weeks, which is the fastest they've ever processed such a visa, even the officer at the consulate was surprised, I moved to Spain with a 10kg carry on suitcase and a Mickey/Minnie mouse bed sheet set, just because.
I had no clue that in 8 months time, a sequence of 3 major serendipitous events would occur (which I'll share in separate stories) that would lead me to the doorsteps of 10 Ayahuasca (plant medicine) ceremonies in 65 days. I didn't plan that. I had never even heard of any plant medicine in my life.
I had never smoked anything in my life, never taken any drugs other than children's ibuprofen, I don't drink alcohol at all. I was about to get my soul flipped inside out, and tumbled round and round like a sock in a washing machine.
The majority of my existence was defined by non-belonging. I've always felt like a "Mystic out of monastery," too spiritual/ethereal for the "normal" world, but also too practical/adventurous/fun to be locked up in a monastery. I never had a safe place to be mystically me.
But when you've invested $100,000 in personal development and another $100,000 in business development like I have, and implement wholeheartedly every teaching that resonates, you learn a thing or two. I ended up with a very, very, very solid, unshakable foundation of inner peace, inner knowing, inner mastery and truth.
On top of that, sprinkle just the right plant medicine and I had myself a party in my soul that unleashed Grace. I always knew I was a guide... but to what? And during one of my post-Ayahuasca group integration sessions, bam! it hit me: Guide to Grace.
It would take another year and 7 months for my bestie and I have a chat about, "Would you now consider yourself a spiritual guide?". To which I cackled with lunacy, "Ha! No." I kept having recurring dreams about being struck by a lightning bolt between the shoulder blades. When I talked to my bestie the next week, I said, "Yes, I am a spiritual guide." And the dreams stopped. "Ok, ok, Universe, I got the message." Hehehe.
I have had more mystical experiences than the English language can describe, than any language can describe. I have so many stories to tell you, including:
- the lightning bolt story (being chosen and rejecting the seat)
- the comet through the head story (the cosmos engulfing my body)
- the atomic bomb story (remembering the disintegration of my ego)
- the Monday void story (an experience of I AM)
- the bucket rim on forehead story (how spiritual warriors are trained)
- the liquid bones story (how oneness swallowed me whole)
- 208,531 words saved in Scrivner to share with you (about 2.8 books worth of words).
All these spiritual flues, energetic ascensions, and mystical experiences, I never asked for any of them. Did I? Did I? I feel like there's a heap of choice I made before coming to Earth that I don't remember. Human-Ellany never got the memo.
If you want to be inspired and bathed in awe, stay tuned!
Letting Go / Walking Away
I know better by now. I don't get to let go or walk away until the Universe says so. It will what it will. Universe, you win. I surrender.
Whatever YOU want, you get. Ideally, you'll tell me what that is in plain English during the day time. But if you must, go ahead and use weird-ass metaphors or wacky dreams that take me weeks, months, years or decades to decipher.
You win. I am surrendered. I have no control and no fear. You win.
Fears / Emotional Rumble
Inability to make short-term or long-term plans, since the Universe will do whatever she wants with me anyway (discernment: I don't mean this in a victim way, I mean this in a "show me what you got and awe my pants off" way!)
Teeny tiny mild discomfort of sacred waiting, not knowing what to do with all my mystical, clairvoyant, clairscentient, and clairaudient superpowers, knowing that I cannot force or speed up the answer
Serene quietude of ever-present joy and inner peace
(Out of order)*
* It took me an entire lifetime to finally understand that a human's criticism is an invalid assessment of my courage and largeness, but rather an open admission of their fears and lovelessness.
Unfolding Destiny / Lessons
Grit: 20/10 | Grace: 20/10
Before I wrote this "16 career identity re-inventions" series, I studied every choice I made, in every area of my life, from where I lived to what I worked on, from my romantic partnerships to out-of-this-world unspeakable mystical experiences, with a fine tooth comb. I now know for certain that uncertainty is a gift.
I'll say it again, "Uncertainty is a gift." The unknown is a gift. Not knowing is a gift.
Had I know the paralyzing vulnerability, terrifying unleashing, heartbreaking courage, spiritual stamina, psychological breakdowns and mystical breakthroughs required of me to survive and thrive in this life, I never would have taken a single step. I never would have come on Earth, period.
Did my soul know how much searing pain it would put this human-Ellany through by incarnating into this dense matrix called Earth? Does it make any sense that human-me needs to forgive soul-me for choosing this life?!? (We'll dive deeper into this topic in another series.)
The greatest lesson and takeaway is that uncertainty and the unknown are a form of sacred protection. Trust me, you don't want to know what is coming. And I don't mean this in a doomsday way. I mean, if you knew all the unknown, then you'd have no more meaning, mission, drive, surprise, wonder, wisdom, awe, dreams, or hopes.
Also, if you knew what was coming, you'd find a way to abort your destiny, to sabotage it, overthink it, overanalyze it to death, until you killed it.
If I stayed at career no. 2 or career no. 5, in the illusion of safety, I never would have opened Pandora’s box, traveled 131 countries to date, legally changed my first and last name, healed developmental PTSD, discovered the depth and beauty of my soul, and alchemizing the world's grief into joy.
So when I said yes to freedompreneurship, I wasn't just saying yes to doing business, I said yes to a spiritual quest to remembering who I AM.
What will career no. 17 be? I have no idea. I'm not even going to guess. But you feel free to take a guess and let me know what you predict!
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
– Dalai Lama
Sacred Brand Archetypes
What do you do when you fully comprehended the nature of our soul, which is to express itself organically, regardless of egoic control. What do you do when you realize you have no control over the mysterious unfolding of your life? Hopeless despair? Spiritual depression? Been there, done both. Meh.
What do you do after you've surrendered to the paradox of no-control and free choice? What do you do when 8 Sacred Brand Archetypes of Heroine (primary) and Innocence (secondary) / Maverick / Artist / Alchemist / Sage / Explorer / Jester (<-- this is a new one that had never appeared before!) want to express themselves simultaneously? Go mad? Lay down and die? Been there, done both. Meh.
I don't have the answer yet. I'm just gonna lean into a "Sacred Waiting," a hopeful yet unattached anticipation of more joy and pain, more awe and suffering, more this and that. In short, more unfolding.
And while I wait, I'll enjoy the sacred brand archetypes party happening in my soul! You are invited 🥳
In this series...
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a Computer Teacher (Part 1/16)
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a Web Developer (Part 2/16)
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as an Industrial Machinist (Part 3/16)
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a Banking Officer (Part 4/16)
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as an Aerospace Engineer (Part 5/16)
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as an Energy Researcher (Part 6/16)
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a Systems Designer (Part 7/16)
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as an International Aid Worker (Part 8/16)
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a Global E-Strategist (Part 9/16)
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a United Nations Consultant (Part 10/16)
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a Web Design Agency (Part 11/16)
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a Success Coach (Part 12/16)
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a Wealth Mentor (Part 13/16)
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as an Aerial Yoga Studio (Part 14/16)
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a Psychotherapist (Part 15/16)
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a Spiritual Guide (Part 16/16)