(cont'd from Purging Negative Money Memories Takes Time • Part 1 and Part 2)
The five times I've done a negative money memory purge, I've burnt the paper and released the past. Before I ran to burn it, I noticed how each scarring incident had, with time, transmuted itself into a lesson or even a superpower.
Purging Lessons no. 23 - 36
As an overachiever, whenever you hear the saying "The perfect thing will come to you at the perfect time"? Do you have the urge to shove a middle finger up at the sky, yelling, "Now would be a good time?"
Telling an overachiever to be patient is like telling a canon ball to float on water. And yet, here's proof that growth takes time, transformation takes time. And the only key I've found so far to reduce that time is: powerful tribe of enlightened people.
Negative Memory No. 23
Taking on $$,$$$ contract just for the money [Quoted the client such a high amount in hopes that they'd say no. They said yes. Damn!]
It lead to • Experiencing the bliss of taking 8 months off and not work. Why wait until 65 for retirement, when I can enjoy some of it now? These precious months helped me develop and deepen some of my most meaning relationships to date.
We only needed • 2 months
Negative Memory No. 24
Didn't draft clear contract with clients, now stuck being their tech support. Gah.
It lead to • Najwa Zebian's work, "These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb." And learning to set and holding titanium boundaries. Like Brené Brown says, "I may not be as sweet as a I used to be, but I'm a heck of a lot happier."
We only needed • 2 years 0 months
Negative Memory No. 25
Dad un-supportive during coaching business building. He kept asking, "When will you get a real job?"
It lead to • I did it anyway. I hired a six-figure mentor and got 'er done! I unwired my brain: father's approval does not equal happiness or success. My approval of self = happiness and success.
We only needed • 2 years 0 months
Negative Memory No. 26
Mom took my mattress that I was gonna sell for cash. She keeps taking my stuff! Aren't I the kid who's suppose to borrow/take her stuff?
It lead to • Forgiveness work: not forgiveness of her (and all the doormat women before her), but forgiveness of self. I had to forgive my own soul for choosing these parents, this life, filled with pain and "handicaps"
We only needed • 11 months
Negative Memory No. 27
Self-sabotaged relationship with X b/c his family was sooo rich (like "We own half of downtown" rich) and my family would not fit in their country clubs
It lead to • Witnessing how fractured and practically non-existent my sense of self-worth was. So I signed up for a year long leadership retreat, which forever changed my life, my power, my courage, my surrender, and then some!
We only needed • 3 weeks
Negative Memory No. 28
Flying 8 timezones to see ex-boyfriend out of guilt, not choice
It lead to • Learning to have some standards. It's not that I had low standards for picking boyfriends. A coach helped me see that I had none. No wonder I always felt like their mother, healer, savior, but never their partner.
We only needed • 9 years and 2 months
Negative Memory No. 29
Last minute flight to dad funeral $3,200. F*cking airlines have no compassion.
It lead to • Realizing how the goal of insurance companies is not to take care of you in case of emergency, but to burry you in paperwork and hope that you forget about your claim. And learning that everything turns out ok if 1. I give it time and 2. I persist. Just giving it time won't cut it. Just persisting won't cut it. It's both time + persistence = success.
We only needed • 10 months
Negative Memory No. 30
Missed flight b/c person I traveled with has such big "look at me! look at me" energy. Totally lost myself.
It lead to • Figuring out how to stop shrinking into a spec of dust and showing up like I belong, claiming my space
We only needed • 3 months
Negative Memory No. 31
Frozen by banshee pitch screeching inside my head when realized I left souvenirs from Jordan, Bosnia and Morocco (which I carried around for 4 weeks in hand luggage) at check-in counter of previous airport.
It lead to • Seeing the psychic imprisonment of scarcity: money once lost is lost forever and no more will ever, ever, ever come in to fill its place. Thus began my journey to heal trauma and PTSD trapped in my body.
We only needed • 7 months
Negative Memory No. 32
Wasted so much time / money / energy on a business whose people I adored, but marketing model I deeply disagreed with
It lead to • Witnessing the power of community and the cruciality of prioritizing self-care / health
We only needed • 1 year + 3 months
Negative Memory No. 33
Wasted so much time / money / energy on a business that I adored, but with a business partner who didn't carry their weight
It lead to • Cementing into my body, once and for all, the freedom and priority of building a location indepdendent business, over a brick-and-mortar business
We only needed • 7 months
Negative Memory No. 34
Watched X buy flowers to beautify her home and couldn't treat myself to $5 of beauty
It lead to • (No answer yet... Still can't bring myself to buy $5 flowers for self.)
We only needed • ? years and ? months
Negative Memory No. 35
Rented car and drove 2 hours to meet people who were never, ever, ever going to hire me
It lead to • Doing some deeply psychic, mystical, spiritual work around self-worth because I realized that I had none
We only needed • 2 years + 2 months
Negative Memory No. 36
Most, if not all, women in my family were cheated on. Packed up their bags (and/or kids) and fled like refugees.
It lead to • Having an epic epiphany: I've spent my life attracting cheaters just so I can feel like I belong to my family. Well, no more! I dumped their sorry asses and I've broken the cycle, forever more!
We only needed • 27 years + 1 month
Money Purge photo courtesy of Marie-louise