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Life Purpose Petals • Why Am I Here?

Have you ever caught yourself sobbing "It's not fair!" or ripping your hair out "But that makes no sense!?!"

We didn't come here for fairness or sense making.

Our souls came here to: grow, love, be loved, enjoy and be of service.

EL - Five Purpose Petals

Yes, growing can be painful. Loving can be hard. Being loved can be even harder, sometimes insurmoutable. Enjoyment goes hand-in-hand with suffering (same coin, different sides). And being of service can leave us more alone and lost than before.

quote - not easy worth it

Beware of Martyrdom

UYF Purpose Petals - Martyrdom

Beware of martyrdom. I see this most often amongst overachievers, phoenixes, skyholders, and "mystics out of monastery":

Serve - You score 7/7. You give and give and give and give, until there's no more to give. And then you give some more.

Love - You score 5/7. You love and love and love and love, until you can't love anymore. And then you continue to love.

Be loved - You score 2/7. But is it really love if you are completely excluded from being a receiver of love?

Enjoy - You score 1/7. Joy, what’s that? Fun, rest, play, recharge, beauty, pleasure and delight, never heard of 'em.

Evolve - You score 4/7. So you try even harder, become a self-development junkie even. But is it really evolved to keep throwing yourself on the fire to keep others warm?

Martyrdom is NOT service, love nor joy. Martyrdom is martyrdom.

It's Not Supposed to Make Sense

During the first month of national lockdown, amongst my clients, friends and besties, we experienced:

  • the highest income since our business started (What, during a global pandemic?!? That makes no sense.)
  • Zoom working with one client, but not with the very next 2 minutes later (We didn't touch a thing. That makes no sense.)
  • bank transfers that worked just fine for the last 2.5 years are suddenly not arriving at their destination (Same app, same sender, same receiver. That makes no sense.)
  • the most compassionate bestie, who used to be our loving confidant, flips overnight to finger pointing, judgement, blame, hyper drama, projection (She has known worse. What happened to her? That makes no sense.)
  • grieving and crying over that gal leaving our city to fly back to their home country (When we're not even friends! We're only part of the same Whatsapp group. That makes no sense.)
  • more client referrals in the last two months than the last year combined (But we didn't run a campaign or change any of our marketingThat makes no sense.)

I promise you, if you achieved 7/7 on all petals of purpose, you'd be either:

  • bored out of your mind long for death, or
  • nauseated from hysterical yearning for: What now!? What else?! What next!?!

We didn't come here for sense making. Our souls came here to grow, love, be loved, enjoy and be of service.

Live fierce and free,

xo, Ella



Having navigated 131 countries, 87 emotions, 46.5 traumas, and 16 careers, Ellany Lea inspires and guides phoenixes, overachievers, entrepreneurs and wayshowers to live fierce, fulfilled and free.