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Have you ever drowned in sorrow? I bet you have. I bet you’ve ugly cried and hid under your blankets for weeks (maybe even months or years) because of unimaginable heartbreak, grief or loss.

This blog isn’t about that. It’s about awe. It’s about enchantment. It’s about delight. I about remembering.

Neurologically, the brain scores negative to positive thoughts/emotions 3:1. This means for every negative thought, emotion, or memory, it takes three positive ones to bring our state to neutral. Not to thriving, but just to neutral between surviving and thriving.

But who wants neutral? As a globetrotting overachieving woman freedompreneur, you want the extraordinary, the "awe my pants off" kind of experiences that leave you enchanted in a puddle of your own tears of joy.

So to wash away all the grief and loss I've known, I decided to dig deep and remember all the times I felt awed. We can outrun grief or loss, but we sure can outnumber and cleanse it with awe.

Awe (n.)
Moment of grace, synchrodestiny, enchantment, oneness, and pure ease.

Dive in along side me as we take a ride to remember awe and awaken to how awe feeds a freedompreneur's success.

Awe Story no. 1 • The Bench

I once lay on a bench at Westerbeke Ranch and admitted for the first time, “I can’t do this anymore. I need help.” [By “anymore” I meant hold up the sky and be everything to everyone, every single second of every single day, while alchemizing the rage, grief and darkness of the entire planet.]

Within 30 seconds, Monna walked over, placed my head in her lap, and lovingly stroked my hair, as I sobbed in agony. The agony was caused by the walls around my heart cracking apart. I remember thinking, “Wow, that was fast! Ask and ye shall receive! Maybe I should ask for help more.”, and the continued sobbing for days, then weeks.

I mean, what were the chances that Monna was right there and heard my silent plea? You can't build a business you love if your heart is walled against love. Who knew that a day of silence + a bench + a Monna would lead to the cracking of my heart? #awe


Awe Story no. 2 • The Ropes

Another time, I was on a ropes course with D and blacked out while I held the ropes for her to climb on top of me as a stepladder. It was a struggle to get the two of us up there. Though we didn’t make it very far up, it was a rich overcoming. It completely recalibrated my innards to put the power of relationship (matriarchy) over the power of reaching the top (patriarchy).

As they harnessed us down, when my feet touch the earth, I was struck by lightning. Lightning said, “I matter." I froze, then dropped to my knees, then cried enough tears to water the entire ranch for 2 years.

I never, ever knew that I mattered before this moment. Ever. Who knew that “failing” (we didn’t get to the top) at a ropes course would pound me awake with the truth that I mattered. (Disclaimer: some were well intentioned but never told me I mattered or if they did, *I* couldn’t hear them.).

If you don't deeply and widely, through and through, know with your mind, body, heart and spirit that you matter, how in the world will you create programs, talks, workshops, products and revolutions that matter? What were the chances of this happening in this sequence?!? #awe


Awe Story no. 3 • The Fields of Gold

I met up with a Tracy, a fellow CTI Leadership grad, in Bali and she referred me to a healer. I thought he’d look like Kutut in the movie "Eat, Pray, Love," but no he was a tall white guy from my home city of Vancouver, Canada lol!

By the end of this mind-body-heart-spirit session, I cried an entirely new kind of tears. Tears I’d never cried before… tears of gold (the song Fields of Gold was playing in the background)… tears of... joy! I’d never known joy before that moment. Happiness, sure, and success with passion and enthusiasm, of course!

But amidst the duty, obligation, duty, filial piety, duty, responsibilities, duty, duty and duty, this pure joy was as foreign as <insert the most foreign thing you can’t even imagine>. Who knew that a hang out with a new friend would fling open gateways to first-time joy.

I mean, what were the chances?!? #awe

Laughter is carbonated holiness.
Joy is the best makeup.
– Anne Lamott

Joy is one of THE most magnetic powers on the planet. As a freedompreneur, do you want to attract clients/customers through force and the age old "blood, sweat and tears" or do you want to attract them through cabonated holiness?


Awe Story no. 4 • The Sewing Machine

I met A at sewing club when I moved halfway around the world with my fiancé. She and I became friends and hand dinner with our partners. Next day, she called to say she needed to tell me something but was concerned that she may lose our friendship. I invited her to speak freely.

She said that during pillow talk with hubby, he noted how every time he asked about your guys' (plural) future plans, the ex was always answered with “me, myself and I.” Her noticing rang deeply true, I think I already knew that, but just ignored it and didn't want to deal with "all that stuff." You know, that he's a classic narcissit. [It’d be years later that I’d discover the the classic narcissist-empath loop.]

I thanked her profusely, hung up the phone and saw my future flash before my eyes like a speeding film reel: divorced by 30, single mom raising him AND our kid whom I didn’t really want, but had for him. I packed up my bags the next day and left, head held high, with my sewing machine in hand.

Who knew that sewing club would lead to my very first experience of self-respect? The sequence of events, what were the chances?!? #awe

Without self-respect, you'll never set titanium boundaries in business and personal life. You want charge what you're worth. You won't give yourself permission to have plenty of time off. You won't... A LOT OF THINGS. Self-respect, that's not listed as the Top Ten Business Success Tactics. We'll, I'm listing it!

Keep Going, Don't Stop Awe

I've got about 53 more moments of "what were the freakin' chances?!?". How many do you have? How many can you remember? How many can you summon up and cry tears of overcoming about?

More stories in next loveletter ♥︎

With infinite grace, freedom on!

xo, Ella

Ellany LeaAUTHOR • Hi! I'm Ella, founder of Guide to Grace. I invite you to join us for an exquisite freedom at the intersection of: entrepreneurship, enlightenment, and enchantment.