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The #1 question I'm asked lately is not about masterclasses or lifestyle freedom, but about the soul maturation needed to show up, be seen and live brave in the copywriting, webinars, stages, masterclasses, etc. required to actualize the lifestyle 'o freedom.

A huge part of my and my tribe's actualization has been fast-tracked by "Ayhuasca Plus 10 Years". And the #1 question that follows:  I'd like to try Ayahuasca, but how do I not be afraid (or terrified)?

The first step in answering a question is clarifying the question. What are you really asking?



Here's what you've asked:

  • How do I forevermore shed the past and all the garbage that is enmeshed with it? 
  • How do I break free from the less-than-stellar parts of me (eg. the one that makes great money, but can't enjoy it or can't retain profits) and never default back to her/them ever again?
  • How do I stop, once and for all, abusing myself for the sake of fame and/or external validation?
  • I'm so effing ready to be free (eg. from trauma, anxiety, self-doubt, etc.), but how do I make the change stick?
  • They say "You are loved." But how do I actually, like actually in real life, believe that?

After digging deep with 23 of you (grads, loyal readers, besties, and new friends), here's what you're really asking:

  • How do I permanently shed cultural indoctrination (including patriarchy)?
  • How do I permanently shed my ego/smaller self?
  • How do I permanently shed my fractured and wounded parts?
  • How do I permanently shed my self-induced suffering?
  • How do I permanently shed... self-hatred?



The last question stings me to my core.

Have you dated someone who abuses you or leeches off you because you didn't feel worthy/capable of a better mate? Or felt too old, too fat, too this, too that for a better mate?

Have you eaten only a meal a day or skipped out on haircuts for 10 months, because you were hoarding money for the next disaster?

Have you engaged with your Fb Group or Instagram followers from an emergency room or hospital bed, for fear of losing your influencer status?

Have you gone to parties just to come home sobbing with post-comparisonitis sorrow and/or shame?

Have you revved your adrenals and clawed your way into inter/national media and award stages, so you wouldn't have to actually feel your inadequacy?

Have you diligently recharged your laptop every time it was at 1%, but can't remember the last time you felt recharged, rejuvenated, ahead of the game and on top of things?

All of the above are symptoms of... self-hatred.

I'm all about fast-tracking AND deepening. All my programs do that. But what if we could do it EVEN faster and EVEN deeper, simultaneously?

Alchemy (n.)
The magical process of harnessing the unseen energetic forces of life to effortlessly create the extraordinary

I've got over 108,000 words in journals just about my 3-moon Ayahuasca retreats. That's about 2 full non-fiction books. That's not counting the 700,000 words in blogs, the 1,200,000 words in Google Docs, the 900,000 words in handwritten journals, the 300,000 in scanned journals, and the 2 million words in masterclass videos.

If I had to distill the 5,208,000 words (that's like 10 books!) into three pieces of insight/advice about participating in an Ayahuasca retreat, they'd be:


Ayahuasca isn't a magic pill. But it is one of the most powerful ways to surrender, to experience Oneness/God/Love/Self in your bones, and to PERMANENTLY shed whatever you're truly ready to shed... if you do it in a psychotherapeutic context. If you do it just for fun or for a trip, then don't expect too much inner mastery or transformation.

A psychotherapeutic retreat using Ayahuasca will fast-track and deepen whatever state you're in, as much as you allow it.

Eg. If you carry trauma in your body, it'll lessen it if you allow it. It'll even eliminate it if you truly, truly, truly, truly, truly allow it.

Eg. If you carry scarcity in your psyche, it'll put it in your face for healing or it'll melt it away nano-bit by nano-bit, even without you noticing. Like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get :D 



My Ayahuasca PLUS 10 Years journey will be different from your "Ayahuasca PLUS <insert amount of self-development you've done>" journey. That's fact

The most loving thing you can do is skip / bypass the ego-mind's compulsion (spurred on by patriarchy) to Google every detail about Ayahuasca because:

  • A. There are lots of fear mongers and unskilled writers out there, not talented at truth/story telling
  • B. Those who do write may be writing from an open, gushing wound, rather than a wise, healed car
  • C. Whatever you read won't be what you actually experience. So why waste your precious time? 



If you're gonna do it, you MUST have loving support after your retreat, from someone who has been through it and who is licensed/trained to guide you through your integration. You will be unravelled. You might feel scared or even insane. It might be days, it might be months. For me, I needed 5 months of tender, loving, care.

Not giving yourself support is just another form of self-hatred, masked as:

  • hyper self-sufficiency - I'm superwoman, I can handle this on my own.
  • numbing busyness - I'm a business owner and mom, I've got mouths to feed and to-do lists to check.
  • scarcity - If I spend money on support or comfort, then I won't have money to spend on things for looking good in the eyes of others.
  • victimhood - I don't have people in my life who get it and/or me

We can shed faster, deeper and be fully free. It'll cost. It'll cost you who you used to be. Will you surrender that price?

See Upcoming Ayahuasca Retreats

With infinite grace,

xo, Ella

Inspiring Stories of Surrender, Reclamation and Freedom

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Ellany LeaEllany Lea is a master freedompreneur, modern mystic and success coach. She writes about the 4 types of knowing as a pathway to total freedom.