Wounded Child Archetypes • Name the wounds. Shed the lies. Free the soul.
Wounded Child Archetypes (WCAs) are clusters of beliefs, thoughts, emotions and behaviors based on a false identity created in childhood.
- Each WCA was born for the child's adaptive survival, but often morphs into the adult's maladaptive self-destruction.
- WCAs hold the personal and collective memories of our childhood pain, abuse, neglect and/or trauma.
- There are 12 WCAs, usually with 2-3 dominant ones that eclipse all others.
- WCAs can catapult many of us wise beyoooooond our years and can also imprison us in self-pity, blame and/or unforgiveness.
- You are not a wounded child. You have WCAs inside you.
Want to liberate yourself/this world, lead a revolution, unleash a masterpiece and/or attain mastery? 🔥 Then identify your top Wounded Child Archetypes and make a fuel change. ⤵︎
Wounded Child Archetypes Test
Dear Phoenix,
They say the first 40 years of childhood are the hardest. No kidding. I had/have aaaaaaaaaaaall 12 Wounded Child Archetypes 🤦🏻♀️. Good news is: wounds can heal, even if it's mofo costly and hard.
From wounded to warrior, victim to victory or martyr to mystic, let's riiiiiise together! 🔥
Table of Contents
| Category |
Archetype |
|---|---|
| 1 • "Not enough" Wounds | Failure • Deprived • Insufficient |
| 2 • "Too much" Wounds | Freak • Burden • Too Much |
| 3 • Neglect Wounds | Unsafe • Powerless • Mistake |
| 4 • Existence Wounds | Invisible • Abandoned • Disposable |
Each of the 12 Wounded Child Archetypes has its own:
- false identities to release
- symptoms + perpetuating behaviors
- unintended impact
- healing mantras
- gifts of the wound, and
- maturation + integration practices.
• • •
1 • "Not enough" Wounds
| Archetype | False Identity | Fueled By |
|---|---|---|
| Failure Child |
I don’t do enough | Guilt |
| Deprived Child | I don't have enough | Scarcity |
| Insufficient Child | I am not enough | Shame |
Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Always say yes and take on more than I can handle, stressing self to the max
- Fall off the face of the earth when I start to notice that I can’t meet all my promises
- Use extreme busyness or disorganization to sabotage my own success / well-being
- ... 11 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others feel that my failure ripple effects onto their success and/or well-being
- Others feel deeply disappointed highly frustrated with me because I don’t meet their expectations
- Others get excited about my ideas, but lose confidence and/or stop investing in me when there’s poor follow-through
- ... 3 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Carries a revolutionary spirit that draws many in to unite against the status quo
- Deep empathy, compassion and acceptance of people / their limitations
- Extremely creative and resourceful, with outside-the-box thinking / solutions
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Know my capacity and stop overextending myself beyond my “sweet spot”
- Name and honor my truest values, shedding cultural / parental indoctrination
- Set and maintain boundaries based on realistic and limited resources (time, money, focus)
- ... 4 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
OPPORTUNITY Heal human stunting |
+ | TEST Reclaim self-esteem |
+ | DESTINY Transmit humane-ness |
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Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Carry belief that I'm not allowed to have and/or I need to be poor to be good
- Chronically borrow against my own well-being by over-working and under-earning
- Crushed under weight of scarcity, never enough to go around
- ... 10 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others neglect my needs/desires or don’t even know that I have needs/desires since they’ve never seen me tend to them
- Others don’t reciprocate my acts of generosity, even though they give to others
- Others feel exhausted or drained by my frantic way of life
- ... 3 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Deep compassion and solidarity for the underdog or minority
- Pure heart of service, with powerful gifts that bless all the world
- Extremely generous and kind to all
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Generate evergreen structures for prosperity and become a trustworthy guardian of wealth
- Increase my worth, celebrate my accomplishments and raise the value/price of what I offer
- Ask others for what I need / desire in compelling ways and expand my capacity to receive
- ... 4 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
| OPPORTUNITY Heal human greed |
+ | TEST Reclaim deservingness |
+ | DESTINY Transmit choice |
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Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Rarely content because life is ruled by impossibly high standards of perfection
- Chronically over-give, over-do and over-compensate for crumbs of validation
- Organize life around duty over thriving
- ... 12 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others feel like they can’t keep up
- Others feel like they’ll never live up to my high standards, no matter how they try
- Others feel drained and/or overwhelmed by my unspoken neediness/wishes
- ... 4 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Deeply cares and champions others to flourish into their unique brilliance
- Achieves excellence at anything and everything the mind/heart is set on
- Mama bear archetype, with generous care and support toward others
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Cultivate the courage to say “no” (boundaries) and leave joy sucking people / situations
- Name and integrate all my parts, light and shadow, with humor and lightheartedness
- Practice receiving love, time, money, praise, support from others in order to thrive
- ... 4 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
| OPPORTUNITY Heal parental deficiencies |
+ | TEST Reclaim innocence |
+ | DESTINY Transmit wonder |
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• • •
• • •
2 • "Too much" Wounds
| Archetype | False Identity | Fueled By |
|---|---|---|
| Freak Child | I am too different | Self-disgust |
| Burden Child | I am too needy | Self-pity (SI) |
| Too Much Child | I am too intense | Repressed anger |
Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Black sheep of the family, never really fitting in anywhere, longing for belonging
- Carry belief that life is unkind, that Earth is not made for people like me
- Suffer from severe self-doubt and/or self-hatred due to lack of loving validation of my unique traits / gifts
- ... 11 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others perceive me as cool and indifferent when all I want is to truly belong
- Others don’t deepen intimacy with me because I rarely set any roots
- Others don’t include or invite me in, assuming that I’m not interested
- ... 6 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Genuinely fosters deep sense of love, acceptance and belonging for others
- Trailblazer, trendsetter, pioneer, courageously discovering uncharted territories for all
- Highly specialized skills to champion the world to think / see outside-the-box
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Develop compelling leadership that draws others to buy in to who I am and what I offer
- Join common interest groups and engage with peers while keeping unique self-expression
- Alchemize differences and conflicts into collective wisdom and lasting intimacy/partnership
- ... 4 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
| OPPORTUNITY Heal human fracture |
+ | TEST Reclaim belonging |
+ | DESTINY Transmit self-expression |
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Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Stay small and mousy, so not to make waves or bother anyone
- Curse of self-sufficiency (extraordinarily capable and self-reliant, thus others rarely to me, thus feeling isolated)
- Feel compulsively obligated to fix and rescue everyone/everything that is wrong
- ... 11 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others don’t initiate giving to me because they assume I have it all together or don’t need/desire anything
- Others feel excluded by my self-reliance
- Others dump all their issues and problems on me to fix for them
- ... 6 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Extremely independent, self-reliant, resourceful and creative
- Makes others feel cherished by unloading their burdens
- Capable of undertaking massive complex projects, with massive success
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Select relationships that are equally giving/receiving, where neither is a burden to the other
- Connect deeply and welcome with love my feelings / needs / desires, knowing they are valid, reasonable, and essential to my well-being and to the blossoming of the world
- Develop custom rituals that invite me to powerfully take up space and express my voice
- ... 3 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
| OPPORTUNITY Heal human scarcity |
+ | TEST Reclaim appetite for life |
+ | DESTINY Transmit will to live |
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Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Constantly misunderstood and told to calm down, be quiet and/or stop moving
- Others are overwhelmed by largeness of my ambition, energy, speed, creativity, etc.
- Chronically suppress my needs/desires, fearing they are “too much” for others, erupting in dramatic outburst when no longer able to self-suppress
- ... 10 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others feel left behind because they can’t keep up with me
- Others feel intimidated / threatened by me, so they dismiss, ostracize, gaslight and/or turn people against me
- Others don’t understand me, thus rarely invest in my dreams and creative pursuits
- ... 5 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Original thinker and seer of solutions, not limited by conformity
- Extremely bright and competent, with huge range / depth of skills and interests
- Maverick, trailblazer and/or innovator
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Create opportunities for juicy projects that match my high capacity, energy and genius
- Develop decision making strategies based on clear boundaries and strong intuition
- Refine the dance between permission for self-expression and unintended impact on others
- ... 3 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
| OPPORTUNITY Heal human ignorance |
+ | TEST Reclaim self-trust |
+ | DESTINY Transmit agency |
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• • •
• • •
3 • Neglect Wounds
| Archetype | False Identity | Fueled By |
|---|---|---|
| Unsafe Child | I am unprotected | Fear |
| Powerless Child | I am helpless | Despair |
| Mistake Child | I am invalid | Dehumanization |
Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Always in state of hyper-vigilance, waiting for the other shoe to drop
- Overly naïve, open, trusting, and disclosing of intimate details before others have earned my trust, thus attracting narcissists, sociopaths and/or con artists
- Take a lot of uncalculated risks, living close to the edge, with few safety nets
- ... 9 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others walk on eggshells around me, afraid to set off my intense reaction to “small things” that are no big deal to them, but are a huge deals to me
- Narcissists, sociopaths and/or con artists target me as easy prey
- Others are turned off or leave me because they find me very difficult to please
- ... 4 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Highly perceptive and master of details
- Child-like innocence that champions authenticity, purity of heart and humor
- Makes others feel held and safe
- ... 3 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Take time to discern people / situations instead of blinding diving all in, and only trust them after they have repeatedly demonstrated their trustworthiness
- Dis-identify self from the victim or martyr archetype, and grow into a whole being who is able to relate and witness the suffering of others with compassion, without enmeshing self
- Learn to self-soothe when anxiety, fear, and/or disappointment escalate
- ... 3 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
| OPPORTUNITY Heal human betrayal |
+ | TEST Reclaim peace |
+ | DESTINY Transmit wholeness |
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Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Present self as having it all together and don’t need anything from anyone
- Be a know-it-all, constantly correcting others with unsolicited advice
- Uncomfortable in a room if not holding a position of power or importance (usually the leader, rarely the follower)
- ... 11 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others are put off by my know-it-all defense mechanism, thus not interested in befriending me
- On one extreme, others idolize me and make me their guru
- On the other extreme, others feel small and/or inadequate around me and avoid me all together
- ... 5 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Champions others to rise into their own personal empowerment
- Beats at the rhythm of own drum, giving others permission to do the same
- Tremendous passion and ease for learning new things
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Express my doubts and knowledge gaps vulnerably and see the power of that transparency
- Champion and feed power to others without losing own power (power is not finite)
- Trust and lean into discomfort as a way to raise my daring leadership and power
- ... 4 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
| OPPORTUNITY Heal human cruelty |
+ | TEST Reclaim self-compassion |
+ | DESTINY Transmit genius |
|
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Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Extremely high expectations of self/others to be perfect, saintly and a millionaire, all at once
- Vacillate between scapegoat “everything is my fault” and blame “everything is your fault”
- Carry belief that Life is punishing me for being born as a big mistake
- ... 11 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others blame their problems on me because they know I’ll assume the fault
- Others make a lot of mistakes around me, lost in my roller coaster of demanding perfectionism and disappearing off the face of the earth
- Others find me disingenuous and/or awkward and walk on eggshells around me
- ... 3 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Passionate champion of non-conformity
- Huge capacity for creativity and willing to take on massive responsibilities for advancement of humanity
- Carries for the world the hope of a better future
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Work smarter, not harder. Choose depth over speed. Pull back to launch forward.
- Graciously decline opportunities that sound thrilling, but don’t fit onto my already full plate
- Create and stick to structures that provide more order / enjoyment / freedom (eg. auto-bill payment, writing buddy, colorful post-it mindmap, accountability partner, etc.)
- ... 3 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
| OPPORTUNITY Heal human contempt |
+ | TEST Reclaim validity |
+ | DESTINY Transmit equity |
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• • •
• • •
4 • Existence Wounds
| Archetype | False Identity | Fueled By |
|---|---|---|
| Invisible Child | I don't matter | Apathy |
| Abandoned Child | I am unwanted | Grief |
| Disposable Child | I am worthless | Self-hatred |
Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Live in chronic stress / fear that it’s dangerous to be seen (eg. I’ll be burnt at the stake or hacked down to pieces)
- Shy, always redirect focus on others to hide true self
- Over-give to others, at my own expense
- ... 11 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others gloss over me, don’t ask how I am and/or forget they’ve met me before
- Others are self-absorbed in relationship with me and punish me if I suddenly express my feelings/needs/desires
- Others enjoy how important and seen they feel when around me, but don’t reciprocate the same level of attentiveness
- ... 4 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Innate superpower to see the invisible and hear the unspoken
- Profoundly trustworthy, making others feel deeply safe, seen and cherished
- Deeply insightful, intuitive, empathetic, discerning, compassionate, nurturing, and peaceful to be around
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Initiate my own authentic leadership without waiting for others to invite me
- Create relationships where my / others’ needs can both be present and mutually met
- Connect deeply to my soul’s purpose and express / share my greatness in creative ways
- ... 3 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
| OPPORTUNITY Heal human unconsciousnes |
+ | TEST Reclaim validity |
+ | DESTINY Transmit radiance |
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Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Isolate my entire life inside chronic self-sufficiency and/or addictions
- Contort self to be what others want to be loved, accepted and/or validated
- Overstay relationships because I can’t bear abandoning others and/or being alone
- ... 10 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others have no clue who I truly am, since I shape shift so often to suit who they need / desire me to be
- Others are repulsed by or keep their distance from my heavy victim energy
- Others find me unapproachable, difficult, and/or draining to be around
- ... 5 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Highly independent and exceptionally competent and resourceful
- Huge capacity for deep, heart-centered, soulful connection with others
- Achieves extraordinary results
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Foster a deep, whole and loving relationship with self so that I always have Me by my side
- Develop resilience and trust in the overall goodness of Life, especially in the face of grief
- Practice authenticity and vulnerability to allow others to know the real me, so they are compelled to care for, champion and/or give to me
- ... 3 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
| OPPORTUNITY Heal human primitiveness |
+ | TEST Reclaim nurturance |
+ | DESTINY Transmit identity |
|
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Symptoms + Perpetuating Behaviors
- Give away my resources (time, energy, money, body, services, etc.) for very little or nothing in return, as if they were disposable
- Chronically borrow against my own safety and well-being, thus perpetually feeling depleted or indebted
- Overstay miserable relationships and/or flee at the first sign of conflict
- ... 11 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Unintended Impact on Others
- Others feel entitled to my kindness and generosity, thus becoming freeloaders
- Others don’t even notice/remember me
- Others don’t see my value-add, so are not inspired to support me
- ... 6 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Gifts of the Wound
- Deeply sensitive to the suffering of others, with huge compassion / kindness
- Extraordinary capacity to see the true value of people and situations
- Humble and intuitive, with leadership to inspire others to rise in consciousness
- ... 2 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Maturation + Integration Practices
- Explore activities / people that bring me joy and make them a necessity and priority
- Practice receiving gracefully, letting go of guilt or reactive auto-reciprocation
- Listen to needs / desires of others, without rushing to rescue or take them on as my duty
- ... 4 more in Wounded Child Archetypes guidebook in Opportestiny™ Masterclass
Ellany's Opportestiny™
| OPPORTUNITY Heal gender inequality |
+ | TEST Reclaim worth |
+ | DESTINY Transmit dignity |
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• • •
The first 40 years of childhood are the hardest.
No kidding.
(First Published Aug 28, 2019)
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Having lived, died and traveled 131 countries, 87 emotions, 16 career reinventions, and 46.5 traumas, Ellany Lea inspires and guides women overachievers, phoenixes, wisdom keepers, and entrepreneurs to free her genius, so it frees the world.
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